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Aside from getting used to living with one another, we had overarching cultural differences to deal with which could really wear us down and test our marriage. Even though my husband feels very comfortable here in the States, he still doesn’t feel 100 percent at home.

Even today we hit cultural nuances that test our boundaries. Not only do others treat him as a foreigner, no matter how hard he tries, this country will just never hold the same degree of comfort as his country of origin. Ever since my husband and I have been together vacations have taken on a whole new meaning: Visiting family.

The knowledge of this weighs heavy on me from time to time. I can’t remember the last time we took a long vacation that didn’t have as its core visiting family members.

Since we live relatively far from my American family, we alternate vacation years so that we can visit his family one year and mine the next.

Reply Hi Judith, reading your post made me slightly nervous That’s because I’ve been with my fiance for over 5 years & your story made me wonder if my relationship will end the same way?

Right now I’m in her homeland where I’ve been living for over 5 years. When you ask God for someone to Love as I did I was thinking of a beautiful person within my race but God gave me what I asked for and what he thought so needed and the same goes for you all. Of your worrying about how someone views your spouse then don’t get married . Thank you for bringing God into this picture of people’s lives.And it is a good thing because I would have killed the bastard! We first met in California and started dating also lived together for three years in California and that was 17 years ago . So the kids are extremely lucky to have both sets of grandparents only a short drive away. ) but my husband suffers a lot in missing his family in Brazil (we visit them once a year for a month at a time). Having said all of this, looking back I would probably do it again …I hate any male that even raises his voice at a woman let alone hurts one! I was actually searching for something else and I read 10 reasons why not to marry …… We have been married for 16 years next month is our anniversary:). I still miss my home country, although I’m sure it’s changed so much now I wouldn’t feel at home if I went back. Reply Dear Wendy, I am happy that you are so understanding to visit his family so often. all of the points listed are very well known to me …Tough, but better than being stuck in another country in a bad relationship…I am trying to make sense of my 9 years` experience and use it for a better future.Not to be nosy but I suspect you were married to an Arab guy. My virgin 20 year old sister married one & he beat her & put her in the hospital! I also taught my son about Japanese history so when someone calls him mixed he will explain what he is mixed with including the different races that The Japanese people of today are mixed with lol ! My son had a good job and married to a wonderful American girl. On another hand, because we live in the U S my son is toltaly one down side, I don’t have a chance to see my family in Thailand more often. International Marriage is a tough one, and I agree with most of your list. Loneliness is the most difficult element in the relationship.

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